Last of the Russiaslovians

The end is neigh. Early 90s they emerged from behind the iron curtain to conquer the NBA. With names like Vlade, Arvidas Sabonis, Detlef and Drazen, these Ivan Drago’s of the hardwood were not only big, but could Kalashnikov the lights out. (A common downtown Belarus occurrence). Vlade could set the pick and not only roll to the bucket but fade out, get the dime from Magic and bury the mid range j. Their guards were big and mean, Gorbachev’s henchmen. You do remember the 1988 Olympics ?!. Drazen Petrovic would dagger your after party with a 3 at :01 on the clock. Sarunas would hit you with the iron curtain crossover before bullying you to the bucket. Detlef was a workhorse. Yes, Germany counts. Word on the screet spread that these cats were coming for the brothers. But the Moscow Magic would be 7 foot, with a jump shot (not the Magic set shot), and they would take over the league. But alas, this was not to be the case.(Mr. Garnett would soon fix this anomaly in the b-ballers evolution.) Dirk my dude you may truly be the Last of the Russiaslovians.

These cats turned out to be some of the most suspect, softest, slowest, one dimensional assortment of future “euro league scouts” ever. These stiffs are doo doo. Dirk folds in the playoffs. Darko is seven foot and yakov smirnov seems tougher than him. Attention Darko: You are not Dark or Dirk. Get your punk ass down low! Remember Toni Kukoc tried to make people think Jordan was stunting his development? Nenad Kristic: garbage, Jake Tsakalidis =see Dino Radja, Peja means playoff p*ssy in East Slavic, Sasha Pavolic? Zaza Pachulia ? You guys are finished. The sun has set over the hills of Bella Karoli. The czar is dead ! Long live the Chinese, Swahilis, and Puerto Ricans. But if you think Manu and the Ukraines from Spain are the next…remember Vinny del negro.