Award Tour

Taskforce Tuesday's quarterly list of this, that and the straight up wack:

Songs we listen to but really hate

In da club --teenage girls and killers should not like the same music. Period.

Lean Back

Anything by DJ Khaled

They Know by Shorty Lo

Mo' Money Mo Problems--except for the BIG verse

H to the Izzo- for sheezy my neezy ?

Cant Touch This--enough said

Fool Me Once List aka Had a Spark when you started, now you're just garbage

Method Man --Remember when people said he was the nicest in the WU

Rick Ross

Smif n Wessun(Anything after Da Shinin')--not even a name change could help you.

Akon--No props for the Nigerian Nate Dogg

Roots--Sorry guys drop the MC's already

Raekwon-- Post the Purple tape of course. Immobilarity ?

Lost Boyz --RIP Freaky Tah. the originial Lil John

Foxy Brown -- Rap in sign language or something

Vince Carter-- Heart and hops do go together. See MJ.

Dead Prez--see Cointelpro

Enough Already aka Dont beat me in the head

T.R.O.Y.--How long must we mourn. ? DJ's please stop playing that song for a few years

Houston Rap--Minus Scarface but including and not limited to Beyonce.

Roc-A-Fella-- Let it go Jay

LL Cool J-- What the hell is Pink Cookies in a Plastic bag anyway ?

50 dollar dub sacks--does the recession affect the weed market ?

10000 colors of Air Force and Tims--Its not "exclusive" if its in Footlocker.

Female Rappers

SportsCenter

Nascar -- Soccer for Rednecks

BET--

Will Ferrel

Nick Cannon-- This dude banged a Vickie Secret Model and Christina Milian. Cockeyed ni&&as get mad love, but you're still a hood nickeldeon cornball.

Shaq hating --Best Center you ever seen in color

Tim Duncan--We get it you're great now go away

Chris Brown--Do we really need an Usher stunt double ?

Boston Sports--The Knicks are worth more than The C's. 26-2 is not a rivalry

You Played Yourself aka You really liked that ?

Spinning Rims

Eminem

Throwbacks

Jim Jones

Murder Inc.

Donovan Mcnabb--Are you Randall Cunningham or Warren Moon ?

BET reality shows--Public Access is shot better

Jesse Jackson, Charlie Rangel and the Black Illuminati--Toms

Isiah Thomas--as Coach, President and owner. Remember the CBA ?

Oscar De La Hoya-- How you doin' ?

More of that aka The World is Yours

Chris Paul

Pete Rock (except for T.R.O.Y.) <---less of that

Usher

BLU--if you see the E drop em

Dave Chapelle--Snap out of it already

MOP

Barack Obama

Kimbo Slice

Kobe--The ni&&a you love to hate

Chics that can roll blunts--Make her hop out and get the Dutches.

What do they do aka "You aint got no job Tommy"

Lil John

Irv Gott-- Does jacking old school instrumentals really count ?

Mos Def--Rapper/Actor oops i mean Actor/Rapper, I mean..

Christina Milian--my mixicano masala just get in playboy alreaday

The End of an Error

Let us all praise the Lord that we will never, ever, have to hear any of the following phrases come out of the mouth of Mrs. Brett Favre...um, I mean Joe Buck, again.

- "Look at him, he's just having fun out there!"
- "He's like a little boy playing a game!"
- "You just can't help but smile when you watch Brett Favre play football."
- "He really embodies that gunslinger mentality!"
- "I want Brett Favre to sire my children!"

So long #4. Corey Webster will miss your perfectly thrown passes.

Go Ahead, Steal Some Music Online…

We all know you want to. Seriously, what are you waiting for? I won’t judge you. How many times back in the day did you have to spend weeks saving up to grab the newest CD (remember CDs?) only to get home, skim over the radio jams (remember radios?), and find a bunch of garbage (remember garbage?).

Nah. Eff that. Go ahead and Z Share the shit out of that new Fiddy single. Chances are, it won’t be released anyways, so you got yourself an online exclusive…exclusive…exclusive…exclusive…

Whoa, sorry, Clue got a hold of the keyboard there for a minute.



Seriously, record companies don’t need more money. How much does a blank CD cost? And how much does putting music onto that blank CD cost? Add that up and do you get $17.99? Best Buy sure does.

Now I’m no businessman (I’m actually a business, man), but these record label suits need to take note of how the whole industry has completely shifted gears. Generation ADD isn’t looking to wait for a whole album to come out when all they have to do is track their favorite message boards for every new single.

By the time we have flying cars, CDs will be obsolete. And that’s a good thing. So long as the industry can tap into that trend before it’s too late, we all profit. Music fans will be able to get music as conveniently as possible and the labels will have an entirely new market to rape and pillage. The music industry should keep up with the consumer. So far, it hasn’t. We’ve come a long way from Metallica hosting a press conference to bitch about Napster.

So fire up that T1 and get to record shopping. Don’t do it for your iTunes library, do it for the future of music. Just don’t tell the ‘em TFT sent ya when Johnny Law comes looking for your hard drive.

PS. Sorry Ghost, nothing personal.
PPS. I downloaded seven new Weezy mixtapes while typing this.
PPPS. They all sucked.

The 3/5ths Compromise

In honor of the historic rise of Barack Obama, here are the rules of being mixed-race in America (specifically black and white)....

1) Be prepared for the inevitable question, "What are you?" "Human" or "American" apparently doesn't fly for your inquisitors. If you're from a single-parent household, like many of us are, you lacked input from one of the racial influences. Don't worry. Watch TV and act like you're down.

2) Be ready to demonstrate your athletic skills, specifically, your ability to play basketball.

3) Listen for comments like, "You've got the best of both worlds: Brains and you can play sports!"

4) In high school, your in with girls, specifically white girls, is: "Can I touch your hair?"

5) Learn Spanish as your prepubescent oily, yellow skin featuring a confused mustache will prompt assumptions that you speak the language (be prepared for the disgust on the speaker's face when you raise your arms as a sign that you don't understand).

6) When you're in a low-income neighborhood, say something "hood" to prove you're not 5-0. Son.

7) Be careful while you're reading Roots as a teenager. Your white parent will carry the brunt of your resentment against "whitey".

8) If you like to use the "n" word, make sure you can back it up. My motto is, "If you've been called a nigg*r, you can use the word." Use at your discretion.

9) Finally, don't say anything too aggressively, look good and bridge the gap. Others will shatter against you, the (Ba)rock that you are...

Thug Luvin

Even the hardest from Yonkers ain't klling all the time...

Go Green

8 Reasons why legalizing Hemp can save the USA, the planet and my Bob Marley collection:

1)Clothing- hemp fiber is longer, stronger and more absorbant than cotton. Back in the day Levi jeans were made from hempen sailcloth so the '49ers pockets o'gold wouldn't rip.

2)Paper- Hemp paper resists decomposition and can be recycled more than wood. So there is no need for a "smoke break" when typing that final paper.

3)Medicine- Marijuana can be used in helping the treatment of glaucoma as well as a nausea reducer for chemo and AIDS patients. Can also be a great cure for the Mondays.

4)Fuel- Hydrocarbons in hemp can be processed into a wide range of biomass energy sources. Take that OPEC !

5)Food- Hemp contains more essential fatty acids than any other source. And the brownies and space cakes make for a great friday snack before a night on the town.

6)Plastic- Yeah, thats right. Hemp can be used in the maufacturing of biodegradable plastic products.

7)Professional Sports- Maybe with weed legalization professional athletes will stop getting arrested for smoking or possessing weed in the dumbest places. Then again maybe this one isnt the best reason. see J R Rider

8)Music-The legalization of hemp can bring about more white reggae stars.

We need a Revolution.

Last of the Russiaslovians

The end is neigh. Early 90s they emerged from behind the iron curtain to conquer the NBA. With names like Vlade, Arvidas Sabonis, Detlef and Drazen, these Ivan Drago’s of the hardwood were not only big, but could Kalashnikov the lights out. (A common downtown Belarus occurrence). Vlade could set the pick and not only roll to the bucket but fade out, get the dime from Magic and bury the mid range j. Their guards were big and mean, Gorbachev’s henchmen. You do remember the 1988 Olympics ?!. Drazen Petrovic would dagger your after party with a 3 at :01 on the clock. Sarunas would hit you with the iron curtain crossover before bullying you to the bucket. Detlef was a workhorse. Yes, Germany counts. Word on the screet spread that these cats were coming for the brothers. But the Moscow Magic would be 7 foot, with a jump shot (not the Magic set shot), and they would take over the league. But alas, this was not to be the case.(Mr. Garnett would soon fix this anomaly in the b-ballers evolution.) Dirk my dude you may truly be the Last of the Russiaslovians.

These cats turned out to be some of the most suspect, softest, slowest, one dimensional assortment of future “euro league scouts” ever. These stiffs are doo doo. Dirk folds in the playoffs. Darko is seven foot and yakov smirnov seems tougher than him. Attention Darko: You are not Dark or Dirk. Get your punk ass down low! Remember Toni Kukoc tried to make people think Jordan was stunting his development? Nenad Kristic: garbage, Jake Tsakalidis =see Dino Radja, Peja means playoff p*ssy in East Slavic, Sasha Pavolic? Zaza Pachulia ? You guys are finished. The sun has set over the hills of Bella Karoli. The czar is dead ! Long live the Chinese, Swahilis, and Puerto Ricans. But if you think Manu and the Ukraines from Spain are the next…remember Vinny del negro.